Chained to the Altar

Chained to the altar
   my heart that wants to go to flight

on the altar is the lamb that was slain
  on the altar is the Word become flesh
     on the altar is God, among us
         come to bear the suffering of the world,
of my suffering
       
come to bring healing for this broken heart

so I chain my heart
   that wants to flight
I keep it before its Hope and Healing

       

Intentions

The struggle I most routinely face is the inability for my actions to match my intentions.

Kinds of Monks (Pastors, Christians, Leaders, etc)

I've started reading The Rule of St. Benedict (a required text for a class on Spiritual Formation). 
The opening chapter describes 4 different kinds of monks.  The description can extend beyond monks, and be applied in many venues. 

1) Cenobites - those who belong to a monestary and serve under the rule of an Abbott
2) Anchorites or Hermits - they have come through the testing, they have passed beyond the first fervor.  Thanks to the help and guidance of many, they are now trained to fight against the devil, . . . they are ready with God's help to grapple single-handed with the vices of body and mind.
3) Sarabaites - they have no experience to guide them, no rule to try them, their character is soft as lead.  They are loyal to the world and pen themselves up in their own sheepfold, not the Lord's.  Their law is what they like to do, whatever strikes their fancy.  Anything they believe in and choose, they call holy; anything they dislike, they consider forbidden.  (Benedict calls them "the most detestable kind of monks.")
4) Gyrovagues - they spend their entire lives drifting from region to region, always on the move, never settling down.  They are slaves to their own wills and gross appetites.  They are worse than the sarabaites.

Contradictions

Janie B. Cheaney writes an article pointing to contradictions on the subject of judging in the present edition of World magazine.  She contributes a piece that is part lament and part grief as she notes that we all judge. 
Here's a worthy pull quote:  " He who condemns Hitler is condemning him under the law.  She who condemns Lady Gaga or Sarah Palin - or anyone opposed to a particular moral sensibility - is condemning them under the law, however unorthodox her interpretation of the law may be.  But we will not judge ourselves.  We want a judge for the world, but not for us."

Cheaney reveals a lament of C.S. Lewis that stands naked in the cultural courtyard - logic, they don't teach logic anymore. 

A Confession

In The Way of the Pilgrim and The Pilgrim continues His Way, there is a conversation that leads to a reading entitled "A Confession which leads the inward person to humility."
The confession has the following outline.  The description following each point is rich.

1. I do not love God.  For if I loved God I should be continually thinking about God with heartfelt joy.
2. I do not love my neighbor either.  For not only am I unable to make up my mind to lay down my life for my neighbor's sake (according to the Gospel), but I do not even sacrifice my happiness, well-being and peace for the good of my neighbor.
3. I have no religious belief.  . . . If I were firmly persuaded and believed without doubt that beyond the grave lies eternal life and recompense for the deeds of this life, I should be continually thinking of this.
4. I am full of pride and sensual self-love.  . . . Seeing something good in myself, I want to bring it into view or to pride myself upon it . . . If I notice a fault in myself, I try to excuse it, I cover it by by saying, "I am made like that" 

If you want to know how to overcome this evil, strive after enlightenment of spirit by every means in your power, attain it by diligent study of the Word of God and of the holy Fathers, by the help of meditation and spiritual counsel and by the conversation of those who are wise in Christ.

(pp. 133-137)