In early December I went to the land of my youth to celebrate the life of my maternal grandmother, Catherine Elizabeth Markel. She was born in 1927 and died on the last day of November 2020.
Catherine was an only child, her dad passed away when she was a young girl from appendicitis. As a young girl her mom would often work as an in-home nurse; this meant that Catherine would spend a significant amount of time with aunts, uncles, and cousins. In the last couple years of her life she stayed at a care facility and she often asked to "go home." When we asked where home was, it was not the place she had last lived in, it was one of the houses where she stayed with her mom and other family. The exact location was a bit of a guess to the rest of us.
Catherine and I graduated from the same High School, separated by a few years. She graduated in 1945 and me in 1991. In July after graduating she married my grandfather, Lawrence Calvin Markel. Lawrence had been drafted into the US Army. The story he told me was that he had been in training in Texas. He received leave to make his way to Michigan and marry Catherine. He said that he got to Michigan by wearing his dress uniform and using his thumb as a hitchhiker. Following their marriage they reported to his next duty station, the Army Air Hospital in Dayton, Ohio. They moved to Dayton and their first home was a converted chicken coop close to the Army base.
I have one of the mementos from that day, a set of 4 spoons stamped with the mark "USA MD." These spoons were markers of life at Grandpa and Grandma's house. When I was older I asked Grandma for one. She said I should take one. When I graduated from Asbury Seminary's Beeson program, she sent the ones that remained.
Following Dayton, Catherine and Lawrence returned to Michigan. Over a 9 year span they would have six children. They would also embark on a career in agriculture. They, like many others, started as share-croppers. In the course of several years they lived on three or four different farms. They finally bought their own.
In the 1950's and early 60's farming was tough economically; it has always been tough. Grandpa said that Grandma did not like the fact of sending her kids to school in patched clothes and she did not see an end in sight given their farm income. She took action. She went to Bryan, Ohio, to the Spangler Candy Company and secured a job. She worked at Spangler for 28 years. It was a thrill as a little kid to take a tour of Spangler's, my eyes bulged as I watched the arms that stretched the candy that would eventually become candy canes.
Taking a job in town meant that Grandpa was pinched on the farm. He decided he could not farm without Grandma and her contributions throughout the day. They sold the farm, and he was always glad to report, that at the end of the day, they paid all their debts and had a little money left over. Grandpa told me this story in the 1980's when many banks were forcing farmers to sell. He always said, "it was my decision and not the bank's."
After leaving the Army it became clear that Lawrence was struggling with bipolar disorder. Catherine would find close friends and confidants in Lawrence's sisters and brother-in-laws. Together they worked to get him some much needed help. Lawrence would struggle the rest of his life, sometimes going great spans of time without massive incidents. While she seldom conveyed it to me or my cousins, I am confident that she was in a constant state of managing the illness.
In 1968 another sadness would greet Catherine and Lawrence. Their eldest son, Ron, had joined the Marines and was stationed in Vietnam. Near the end of the Tet offensive, Ron and his company were involved in a fierce fire fight. Ron became memorialized on the Vietnam wall in Washington. His death was a great loss and has marked the family since.
Catherine was not an outspoken person, but she was steady, kind, merciful, inclusive, and a partner in business. In the early 1970's Lawrence learned of Haflinger horses. They traveled to Temple Farms in Wadsworth, Illinois where they acquired a stallion named Stacey (1973). A couple of years later they acquired two mares, Ann and Sadie. This threesome would produce a significant line of horses. Lawrence would say over the years that Stacey always "paid for his keep." While it looked like Lawrence and my Uncle Don were the two main interests in the horses, when registration papers were filed, they were listed as LDCM - Lawrence, Donald, & Catherine Markel. Catherine's money was invested in the horses project, as well as her energy. She went to shows, she hosted visitors, and she baked stacks of cookies and mixed gallons of ice tea for her grandkids and other helpers as we gathered to make hay, clean the barn, and a host of other tasks. She was a full business partner and was actively involved in the decisions to buy the horses in the first place, and when it came time to sell. Catherine and Lawerence also helped establish the Great Lakes Haflinger Association. Following the sale of their own horses, they were honored to be made lifetime members of the association.*
After working at Spangler Candy Company for 28 years she decided to retire. In retirement she would take up knitting and crocheting. She was involved in Bible studies at church. She visited the library frequently. She seemed to always have a book near by, or a puzzle sitting atop one of her tables that she was working on putting together.
Reflecting on how I interacted with Grandma, it dawned on me that at her house, as a kid and teen, we often interacted with our cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandpa. Grandma was present, but quiet, and in the background. She once said to my sister, "you can learn a lot when you're quiet." She did learn a lot, a lot about her grandkids. One thing she learned about me was that I liked the circus peanuts that Spangler made. Following her retirement Spangler would send her a box of goodies near Christmas. For several years in my adulthood she would forward the circus peanuts onto me. I welcomed her thoughtfulness.
Another privilege I had of interacting with Grandma was to have her as the first Sunday school teacher that I remember. I was four or five and she taught my class for a couple of years. It was in that Sunday school room that I remember looking at her and really seeing her and hearing her. It was a joy to live out the experience of a Timothy, in the act of learning and growing in the faith of Jesus from one's grandmother (2 Tim 1.5).
In 2003 Lawrence was in declining health. My cousin Christopher was getting married in Oregon. Many of us flew to Oregon to take in the festivities. Upon arriving we received word that Lawrence had passed away in Michigan. Christopher's initial reaction was to put the wedding on hold and return to Michigan for a funeral. Catherine would not hear of it. We live into the future; Lawrence's body could wait. Honoring his life meant moving forward with the creation of a new family, and new chapter.
In 2013 my youngest brother, Byron, married Holly, and the event was in northeast Ohio. As the family gathered at the hotel we talked of many things. One of those things we talked about was a beloved pet that Connie and Bob had in their freezer. Connie & Bob had moved to Wyoming for work, but kept their home in Michigan. When their beloved dog died, Connie had it returned to Michigan by one of her sons. It was placed in her deep freeze until Connie had a chance to come to Michigan and give her dog a proper burial. I wondered aloud why Connie didn't have her dog cremated, and then had the remains pressed into a diamond? Then I noticed Grandma wearing her broach - a broach that contained the birth stones of her kids and grandkids. I said, "Grandma, you could have done that with Grandpa; had his remains turned into a diamond and attached to your broach." Grandma, not missing a beat looked at me and said, "I carried that burden long enough." I laughed, she laughed.
While she was quiet, she knew how to live and tell the truth. Much of her life did have its certain, long, and heavy burdens. It also had joy, delight, promises, and dreams to be lived into. Her life was ultimately a life full of faith. Reflecting on that comment from my brother's wedding, she didn't shy away from living into the invitation of Jesus in Matthew 11.28ff - "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."
Catherine showed us how to lay down our burdens and carry the yoke and burdens Jesus gives us. She walked in faith with Him, and kept faith with her family and community. She was a gift and I celebrate Catherine; Grandma Markel.
* A correction may be needed. History my be that the "C" was for the middle names of Lawrence Calvin and Donald Charles. Regardless, Catherine was deeply invested in the horses project and they were only present with her approval. She would later give a blessing to several of my cousins and brother to return horses to the barn under the banner of Markel Family Haflingers. She kept making cookies for all these visitors!
