Sit, Walk, Stand - observations and questions from Watchman Nee’s reflections on the Christian life as described in Ephesians

The following is a series of observations and questions that I shared with our staff team at Schweitzer Church on this book.

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Sit, Walk, Stand - by Watchman Nee

Chapter 1 - Sit . . . It’s about our identity in Christ and His life and work

1. “Christianity begins not with a big DO, but with a big DONE. . . . We are invited at the very outset to sit down and enjoy what God has done for us; not to set out and attain it for ourselves.” p.2
1. Nee leans into the work of God in bringing about salvation and our first response to God. How does this challenge your description, depiction of what following Jesus looks like?
2. Nee views ‘despair’ in the Christian life as a good thing (11) - it helps us get to the point of coming to the end of our trying, and finally, letting God do what we can’t. Has this been a part of your experience? How does this inform our thoughts when someone describes themselves as “deconstructing”?
3. "God is so wealthy that his chief delight is to give. His treasure-stores are so full that it is a pain to him when we refuse him an opportunity of lavishing those treasures upon us." (12)
1. How can this change our perspective on giving? How does this inform our understanding on budgets and buildings, etc?

Chapter 2 - Walk . . . it’s about our conduct

1. The natural man has worked out his own standards of right and wrong… Have we realized that for us the starting point is a different one? Christ is for us the Tree of Life? We do not begin from the matter of ethical right and wrong. We do not start from that other tree. We begin from him; and the whole question for us is one of life. . . . Nothing has done greater damage to our Christian testimony that our trying to be right and demanding right of others.” (19-20)
1. What does this do to conversations about “Worldviews”? 
2. How would this speak to the rifts in the culture and what we bring to those rifts?
2. “Often we try to be meek and gentle without knowing what it means to let God work in us the meekness and gentleness of Christ. We try to show love, and finding we have none, we ask the Lord for love. Then we are surprised that he does not give it to us. . . . We have been accustomed to look upon holiness as a virtue, upon humility as a grace, upon love as a gift to be sought from God. But Christ of God is himself everything we shall ever need.” (P24-25)
1. How does Nee connect with practicing the Spiritual Disciplines that JMComer or R.Foster talk about? Is there a contradiction here? If so, are both true?

Chapter 3 - Stand - It’s about the mission of the Church

1. “For no Christian can hope to enter the warfare of the ages without learning to rest in Christ and in what he has done, and then, through the strength of the Holy Spirit within, to follow him in a practical, holy life here on earth. If he is deficient in either of these he will find that all the talk about spiritual warfare remains only talk; he will never know its reality. Satan can afford to ignore him for he does not count for anything.” (40)
1. When a person of some notoriety claims to have come to Christ, in the last 50 years, they have been quickly platformed, given a microphone, and put out as an exhibit for coming to Christ. Time and again, the story begins to unravel. Before long the shining star is far from the stage and far from the faith. What motivates churches and ministries to platform celebrities so quickly and bypass resting in Christ, and learning the way of Jesus? How can we avoid this pitfall?
2. “The Church is called to displace Satan from his present realm and to make Christ Head over all. What are we doing about it.” (41)
1. Previously Née  writes that ‘we see only ‘flesh and blood’ ranged against us . . . A world system of hostile kings and rulers, sinners and evil men. No, says Paul, our wrestling is not against these…” (41) How can this mission of displacing Satan and exalting Christ come about in such a way that we do not find ourselves in a primary conflict with flesh and blood? The culture war is a flesh and blood kind of conflict. How can we engage in the spiritual battle?
3. Née suggests we take up the spiritual battle, in a General sense, by Standing. By ‘holding ground’, not by marching, but by standing. Not by struggling to gain a foothold, but by standing on the ground that Christ has already won. He was offensive, our work is defensive. “We do not fight for victory, we fight from victory.”(42-43)
1. If we fight from victory, then what kind of attitude should we carry? Our disposition? How might we engage our fellow travelers? With anxiety? Fear? Trepidation? Revenge? Or with Humor? Joy? Pleasantness? Encouragement, mercy, and grace? 
4. God’s great self-committal. Née writes about how God has committed himself to his servants to act through them, as they take action in his name. This committal goes beyond just working through, this committal involves having a union with the Lord, that he will commit himself to what we are doing? Née then describes four essential features to which God can fully commit to: 1) a true revelation of the eternal purposes of God, 2) all work must be conceived by God, 3) the work must depend on the power of God, and 4) the end and object of the work must be for God’s glory. (50-58)
1. The great challenge for a church worker, as was the challenge for Elijah (59ff), is to sit with Christ so that we don’t try to ‘drag God into a thing against his will’ (62), but that we walk and stand in the love, power, and presence of Jesus. How do our own expectations and practices encourage or detract from receiving God’s self-committal? How do the expectations and practices of the church community encourage or detract from receiving God’s self-committal? How does our leadership of the church community contribute to or detract from others receiving God’s self-committal? 

Moses Graduates, again . . . and a longer story

 

We are proud parents! Our eldest son, Moses, graduated in May from Asbury Theological Seminary. He earned an MA in Theology. He earned the same degree I received.

Moses makes the fifth person with a last name of Leininger, connected to my grand-parents Claire & Doris Leininger, to have a degree from Asbury. My uncle Dean graduated in the late 70's. I graduated in 1997. My cousin Joel, Dean's son finished in 2007. Joel's wife, Tammy also graduated in 2007. Ironically, Joel and Tammy would meet following seminary and begin their family. 

We are anticipating at least one more degree from Asbury. Moses' wife, Emily, should finish up the spring of 2025. That will make 6 Leininger's connected to Claire & Doris with a degree from ATS, who would have thought it? Only God!

When Claire and Doris were newly married I'm unsure if they had much of a faith practice. Doris' dad had a connection to an old-order Mennonite congregation. Claire's family was connected to a (now) Missouri Synod Lutheran Church. As I've heard the story, in the early years of their marriage they were farming long hours, forming their family, and uninvolved in faith.

What changed? The Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) received a new pastor who was born and raised in California. During the 2nd World War he was interred at a Japanese Camp. At the end of the war, Rev O  would go onto seminary and then relocate to northwest Ohio. Rev. O and his wife loved Jesus and loved people. They gathered my grandparents into a small group Bible study and there they encountered Jesus. 

My grandparents faith was real and lively. I've heard stories of my grandfather going with others from church to a rescue mission in Toledo, OH and preaching. My grandmother had her own kinds of pulpits, and did she ever use them. They loved the songs of faith, the people of the church and community, the scriptures, and Jesus. They weren't perfect, but Jesus did a fantastic work in them. And through them, they blessed their family.

I'm proud of my son. And, I'm grateful for a legacy of faith that includes a Japanese-American family that also knew the power and redemption of God and shared that with my grandparents. They could have been bitter and victimized by what they went through. Instead, they let the healing power of Jesus work in them, and through them worked hope and redemption in others. 

Our son, has graduated, again, this time with a Masters' degree. One can only wonder what God will do with the story of his life. Whatever it holds, To God be the Glory! 

 

CPR (AKA - Petra) in Branson, MO

Somewhere in my middle school years a cousin introduced me to Petra, a christian rock band he had been listening to. Over the following decade of my life Petra was on my frequent play list. I picked up their new releases and dug up their first works; their first release came out the year before I was born. 

 Petra was part of the soundtrack of my early days and they contributed to my faith formation. Listening to the lyrics one is drawn into the framework of the psalmist; these are songs that speak to God and of God from within the frame of who God is and the work that God is doing. The songs pick up and use the language and imagery of the scriptures, while carrying the sound sensibilities of the moment. Take a listen to their early 1970's work and there are overtones of the Eagles. Take a listen to late 1980's and you the sounds is more arena rock. A vast array of sound, with lyrics deeply rooted in scripture and speaking to the challenges of the moment. 

 Fast forward to living in Springfield, MO in 2021. One of my daughters has begun working on some film projects with the daughter of Petra's first lead singer, Greg X. Vols. In September word came that a rendition of Petra, CPR - Classic Petra Resurrection, was going to play in Branson, MO - just down the highway from Springfield. It was with great delight that Anna and I were able to take 3 of our 4 kids and introduce them to the faith-forming sounds of our youth! Our youngest daughter who says, "70's and 80's music is my jam," rocked the night away. Several days later I'm still hearing and singing, "let everything that has breath, praise the Lord." 

 I am deeply appreciative of the work Petra has done in the world of music and art to convey the good news of Jesus Christ. I am delighted that the rendition, CPR, came to Branson in 2021, for I needed to sing some songs that reminded me of God's goodness and faithfulness across the many pages of my life. Keep rocking Petra, and keep pointing to the Rock!

Wake up, take a shower, put on clean clothes ... a Word from Isaiah

 The first Sunday of Advent 2020 I am preaching on Isaiah 52.1-12. At the center of the text is a verse familiar to many: "how beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the messenger who brings good news...." The good news of that particular messenger is that Babylon had fallen and Cyrus had issued a decree that captive people, separated from their homes could return, and this was the Lord's doing. That was good news! As we maneuver through a season of a global pandemic, I pray we have other good news bearers who come speaking of a light at the end of this tunnel. 

But before we read about the beautiful feet of the runner, there is a rousing call to the people of Zion - "Wake up, Wake up, O Zion. Clothe yourself with strength. Put on your beautiful clothes, O Holy city of Jerusalem, for unclean and godless people will enter your gates no more." (52.1) To the people in Jerusalem, and to the diaspora, this speaks to the despair, depression, and dullness of life that had consumed 50 years of existence. It describes a people asleep to hope. It describes their shattered dreams and aspirations that led them to ignore their general welfare. There were no events that required beautiful clothes.

As I read this text in preparation, and thought about the condition of my soul in the season of this pandemic, I started to notice a pattern on the weekends. I have been slower to move and get things done, skipping showers, wearing the same ratty clothes. I've begun to wonder if the most spiritual and helpful act to do is the act of waking up, taking a shower, and putting on clean clothes? In carrying out these simple acts I can make a real statement of hope in the face of an incredible dullness. 

So tomorrow, I'll wake up, take a shower, and put on clean clothes. 

How are you taking a step of faith and hope? 

Anticipating God acting today

Dennis Kinlaw has complied a fantastic daily devotional, "This Day With The Master." If you are familiar with Oswald Chambers, this is similar and very, very good. 

Today's reading spoke to me and I would suggest it has application to many of us who make our plans based upon what we can accomplish given our resources.

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2 Chronicles 14.11 (NKJV) - Asa cried out to The Lord his God, and said, "Lord, it is nothing for You to help, whether with many or with those who have no power; help us, O Lord our God, for we rest on You, and in Your name we go."

Kinlaw writes:

The author of Chronicles portrays God as an actor on the human scene and in individual lives . . . .

My mistake in too much of my life has been to simply look back and give God thanks for what I can see he has done instead of living in anticipation of what he is going to do. I tend to see the dark clouds and not see the One who is behind and above those looming clouds. However, if we take scripture seriously, there ought to be an anticipation in our hearts that says, "I wonder what is is going to do today. I have this massive problem; I wonder how is his going to work it out." We need to expect his action and presence in our lives.

Confirmation

This spring our boys are participating in a Confirmation class at Schweitzer.
It is a new venture for them and for Anna and I as we have never before been in a church that practiced/offered Confirmation. The curriculum in use is called Credo and available through Cokesbury.
The Confirmation class is a unique setting for these young teens to explore theological doctrines of the faith; Doctrines about the Trinity, the Holy Spirit, Creation, Atonement, and Wesley's Quadrilateral. Confirmation gives them room to affirm the baptism vows taken for them by their parents. Confirmation helps begin to expand their perspectives globally. This past weekend we went on a retreat to St. Louis, the confirmands were exposed to the Catholic Basilica and to an Orthodox Church.
At the Basilica we participated in a low mass, no choir/organ/music. For the Homily the Bishop focused his remarks to the 400 or so Methodist confirmands about the Gift and Presence of the Holy Spirit. He prayed that the Spirit would be poured out upon them and unite them to God. It was a powerful homily in an incredible space.
Later in the day the Bishop Schnase, Missouri Conference UMC, also addressed the confirmands. He gave an encouraging word to say yes to Jesus, where ever it may be that Jesus invites us to follow.
I've heard people wonder how much of the whole confirmation experience sinks in. There is a strong assumption that Middle Schoolers take on theological doctrines like ducks take on rain. I suppose we might rightfully have the same assumptions about biology or algebra - yet teachers persist. What is becoming clear to me is that the exposure to doctrine is a calling worth not shrinking back from. When theology and doctrine are couched and encouraged with the spirit and language of the two Bishops, Confirmation is a means of Grace.

(Almost) 40 Days of Travel

The last several days I have been thinking about a song by Keith Green, So You Wanna Go Back To Egypt.

One of the lines in the song, "all we do is travel and we travel so much," describes what my family has been doing for the past four weeks, and what we will be doing for two more - traveling.

On May 18th we set our sights on Springfield, Missouri for an interview at Schweitzer United Methodist Church. Following a round of interviews and accepting an invitation to join the staff we returned to Wilmore to pack up our gear embark on a westward trip.

But first, we took our earthly goods in Wilmore and joined them with our belongings in a trailer in Mt. Pleasant, MI. Following a memorial service for Anna's grandfather - Grandpa Gordon, we turned our sights to the west. We have stayed in West Des Moines, Iowa; Denver, Colorado; Lander, Wyoming; Driggs, Idaho; Gillette, Wyoming; Rapid City, South Dakota; Fairmont, Minnesota, Osh Kosh, Wisconsin; Quincy, Michigan; and now Sharon, Pennsylvania. The last couple of weeks will take us to Michigan and conclude with arriving in Springfield before July.

We have been blessed along our route to meet some great people, see some magnificent sights, visit with some dear friends and family, rejoice in some work completed, and anticipate the unfolding of the next chapter of life. At the same time we have been living in a unique and somewhat uncomfortable space. I'm not sure who originated the term but the idea and language of liminality speaks to our situation. We are living in a space that is in between - between an ending and a beginning. It can be a precarious space.

In that space we face a thousand questions and for many of them we have few, if any, answers. Thus something happens, we turn to what we know,or have known. The ambiguity crushes the adventure out of us and we turn back to the familiar.

Such a move is what the Israelites did when they left Egypt and headed toward the promised land of Israel. They longed for the security of familiarity. We too have faced those longings on our journey and that's why I've been thinking of Keith Green's song.
        

This far by Faith

"We have come this far by faith: leaning on the Lord" - Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals

This quote marked much of my devotional time in the early part of July. As I found it used repeatedly I began to reflect on how significant it was in describing our present moment.

At the end of May my family knew we would need to be in Springfield, Missouri by July 1 so that I could begin a new role as Pastor of Discipleship at Schweitzer United Methodist Church (sumc.co). But we had almost 40 days between the ending of the Beeson program and the beginning of the new role. We had two weddings to attend at the end of June, we had to figure out where we would live in Springfield, and how our things would find their way to Missouri, but there was not a responsibility keeping us located in one spot.

At the end of May we set out on a westward trip that was spontaneously planned. We had talked for almost a year about how it would be fun to go out west. When we realized the the window of opportunity was before us, we stepped on the gas and went for it. We traveled to Denver, Driggs,Idaho, Billings, Montana, Gillette, Wyoming, Rapid City, South Dakota, and Osh Kosh, Wisconsin. By the time we arrived in Springfield at the end of June, we had added 9,000 miles to our van and visited 13 states in about 40 days. .

Our travels connected us with some great people. We stayed with friends and family in Denver, Gillette, and Osh Kosh. It was marvelous to be in their presence and see what God is up to in their lives. In other cities and the great wide open spaces we met fellow sojourners who added a rich harmony to the tremendous sights of the incredible west. There exists a sweet reflective tapestry between the places and the hospitality of the people we met along the way.   

As we traveled we kept the phone lines open to a realtor from the Springfield area who is a member of the church. We met Phil on our first visit to Springfield and he gave us a tour of town and showed us a few houses. In a short amount of time he began to sense what kind of people we are and understand what things we might find of value in a home. As we were traveling, he was looking for houses in the Springfield area that might fit our needs and maybe meet some of our desires.

We talked with Phil often. As we were arriving in Jackson (Hole), Wyoming we pulled into the local library to print off documents so we could make an offer on a home. We had looked at it on-line, watched some videos Phil made of it and decided to make an offer. Our trip felt like a sprint in places, we had to print, sign and send documents, ASAP. We would do this on two houses with no success.  Phil would say, we just need to keep praying. He was right.

About 10 days before our anticipated arrival date in Springfiel, Phil called with another possibility. We had surrendered hopes of buying and were sure renting was going to be the only option. Phil went to a meeting where they talked about new listings, he thought we would be very interested. He made some videos and posted them on youtube. In about 72 hours from the time of listing we had made an offer that was accepted. We had a place to land, and a place to grow and live into.

The place is east of Springfield - mailing address is Strafford - about 6 miles. It is about 10 miles from the church. It is a ten acre parcel that has a gradual slope from the rear of the property to the road, mostly flat. It has a great blackberry patch and an old cemetery on it. There was a pond but it no longer holds water, and most of the ponds that do are dried up because of the drought. The back three acres are fenced and are helping to feed the neighbors cows. The sunsets are beautiful and the sounds of the country compel us to quiet wonder at the goodness of God. I think of that God's goodness and love as I peer west over the fence and see the lights of downtown Springfield. The city and the people are not far away.


The journey we have been on has been filled with unknowns. Today we wake up thinking that we know a little more than when we were traveling across the country, but the reality is, we have come this far by faith. It has been a great journey leaning on the Lord. We have been led to good places, with peaceful people, who are in the midst of the God's project in the world. 

Answered Prayer

This past weekend an ardent prayer in the life of my family received an answer.
On July 1, I will join the staff at Schweitzer United Methodist Church, Springfield, Missouri. I will be working in the Discipleship area of the church.
How this came about is a remarkable story and a rather vivid indicator that the Lord has been walking with us in our journey. He is always faithful.

We have many questions that are yet to be answered, a big one is, where are we going to live? We know that these things will become clearer as the time approaches.

Today we are packing a trailer and celebrating Kyrie's 4th birthday. Tomorrow we travel to Michigan to reunite our things in KY, with our things in storage in MI. Saturday we celebrate the life of Anna's grandpa Gordon. Sunday we head to the west for a great western adventure.

The Lord is Good. All the time, the Lord is Good.

Interesting visit in Indianapolis

In the month of January Anna and I joined a group of visiting scholars in a church environment that was out of the ordinary. About 30 scholars joined with John and Ann, doctors of the soul, to ring in a new year with a bounty of traditional food. They gave ear to how the universe unfolded in creative order. They exchanged ideas with verdant discussion. Many of the visiting scholars are being stretched, in their formal studies, and to the very depths of their souls through hospitality which opens a welcoming place for sharing a variety of worldviews. They are being introduced to concepts which go beyond the healing of the body and quantum physics; they are exploring the Divine.

Anna and I enjoyed our time in their midst. One of our new friends was wowed by our declaration that we had four children. She has one child and expressed to Anna how overcome she sometimes becomes. She called Anna a "professional mother" and has since emailed with some questions.

We were encouraged as we watched John and Ann among these scholars. John and Ann have sailed by the age of retirement, yet their energy and zest for life, their joy in calling, from our perspective, looks to be near the fulcrum of existence. They serve as guide posts who have set their face toward a city other than Indianapolis, to a city which needs no sun for its light and has a river that teems with healing water. Our hearts grew in this visit and our own imaginations expanded.

Kyrie's preaching

This week I've been in LA with the Beeson program.  We've been on a very interesting leadership journey.  While I've been away Anna and the kids have continued our after meal practice of praying.  Below is an account Anna sent me about Kyrie's leading.  I find it amazing what a three ear old can capture and display.  Here is what Anna wrote.

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Just wanted to let you know that Kyrie wanted to do the prayer at lunch today and she would not stop preaching.  I can't wait for you to experience prayer with Kyrie at the helm.   Today she got the prayer book and had to find her place (everything is very dramatic and takes a long time), then she said to us, "Tell me something about Jesus" and we went around and told a Jesus story.  Then she found another page and said, "Now lets sing the Gloria Patri"  and she proceeded to very loudly lead us in the Gloria.   Then she found another page and said something like, "Jesus died.  Jesus fell asleep and God picked him up.  God told Jesus to breathe.  Jesus was alive.  God was happy."  God told Jesus to breath again.  And God breathed.  Then they went in the fire."  I asked, "Why did they go in the fire?'  She said ,"Because they wanted to get burned."  She had to find a new page for everything she said.  At one point she also said, "Jesus and God were walking on the water and the water was yucky."  It was hilarious.  She was devastated when we had to finally end her service.  I had to distract her to calm her down.  

Thought you might enjoy some theology.  

Developing a New Groove

This spring one of the goals we set for four of us in our family was to begin running and acquiring a greater degree of physical fitness.  The endeavor launched after spring break and has continued in a couple of different renditions.  Right now our running pattern is that Anna and I head out somewhere about 7:30 in the morning and Moses and Asa go running about 9.
Encouraging Moses and Asa to take on this new routine has not been without its lament.  But yesterday things changed.  Anna and I had completed our run, we were commencing with the other events of the day and Anna looked up and posed a question - "where are the boys?" 
They had left earlier than 9 and had not conveyed to Anna where they were going.  About 10am a phone call came from a dad of on of their friends, they had completed their run and were doing something at a park.
We were surprised, they had gone out on their own accord.  Last evening we were talking this through with them and Moses said, "I'm beginning to really like running."
They are developing, our whole family is, some new grooves; new interests, new practices, new routines.

One of the other practices we are going to experiment with is that of a family prayer and devotional time after our evening meal.  That has not been a part of who we have been as a family. We've talked about God, prayed before meals, shared scriptural truth, but not had a family chapel/family altar.  I wonder if it will ever have a sacred sense like the chapel services at the seminary or a college chapel, but its a new groove that the Lord has placed on my heart and mind that we need to start walking in.  Maybe after a few months we'll come to the place where we can really like it.

 

Preparing to Move

In 8 days we will depart Mt. Pleasant and head to the very familiar town of Wilmore, KY.
Packing up and departing is proving to hold it's challenges.
While some of life has been difficult here, the joys and victories have far out paced the challenges. 
Along the way in the packing journey (I have to admit that Anna has done 98% of it, and I've been taking care of ancillary things), I asked Anna which was easier, having a baby or packing to move.  Her reply, "having a baby."
Tonight as we were in a discussion about what we can take to Kentucky and what we'll need to store in our newly acquired 48' long semi-trailer, I screamed out, "let's have a baby." 
That's an impossibility now, so I guess we'll work out the space and pack.

There have been several questions about contracts and things that have come along in the journey.  At times I've felt like we were in a ball of chaos.  But this ball of chaos has mostly been constructed out of the choices we make.  I've begun saying that sometimes our world is filled with the chaos brought on by outside sources, but most of the time the chaos of our lives is a direct result of choices we've made.  Instead of being the captain of our souls, we're the captives.  And yet, chaos is needed at some level.  The ground of our souls needs a good plowing, a good work up, so that the fruit of the Spirit might arise and feed the hungry.

So we plow ahead, disturbing the dirt, making our walk a little more difficult, opening our heart to the Spirit of Jesus.  

Tertullian on Baptism

In preparing for Sunday I came across the link above to a comment Tertullian made on baptism.  He is replying to objections that Baptism is not necessary.  One objection to the necessity of Baptism is that Abraham found favor with God by faith apart from baptism and as such it is not necessary.  Tertullian provides a good description of how scripture and revelation are being constructed so that what is first is the beginning of the composition, not the fullness thereof. 

I appreciate this quote:   "Grant that, in days gone by, there was salvation by means of bare faith, before the passion and resurrection of the Lord. But now that faith has been enlarged, and is become a faith which believes in His nativity, passion, and resurrection, there has been an amplification added to the sacrament, the sealing act of baptism; the clothing, in some sense, of the faith which before was bare, and which cannot exist now without its proper law."

I wonder can we speak of simple and yet enlarging faith, or are these notions contradictory?

The Long Ride

On the road

On May 20th, I had the great joy of driving this 1962, D-19 Allis-Chalmers, from Mt. Pleasant, Michigan to my in-laws who live north of Fremont, Michigan.  Total distance is about 62 miles.

This great adventure is the result of another unfolding adventure in our lives.  At the first of July 2011, I will be embarking on doctoral studies at Asbury Theological Seminary, specifically the Beeson Pastor track. In the Beeson Pastor track residential students move to Wilmore, KY for 11 months.  They take as few worldly goods with them as possible and stay in a 3 bedroom furnished townhouse.  Beeson Pastors also invest those 11 months in 9 courses on preaching, missions and church leadership with some extra learning trips rounding out the education.

It surprised Anna, but I thought we shouldn't take the tractor to Kentucky.  Thanks to my in-laws, we found a great spot to keep this orange beauty for at least the next year.  (For all of you John Deere fans out there, I had lots of offers from people close to Mt. Pleasant who would have loved to store this tractor.  That goes for the Case & Farmall folks too.)

I left Mt. Pleasant and arrived at the farm about 5 1/2 hours later.  Along the way I stopped 4 times.  I stopped to see a friend near Remus and the other three were for gas.  Norm Swinford wrote in an Allis-Chalmers book that the D-19 earned a reputation of not being able to drive by a gas pump without stopping.  I didn't need to stop as often as I did, but my legs were thankful to be off of the vibrating platform.

At one gas stop I went in the store to pick up some coffee and pizza.  The coffee canister was almost bone dry.  I let the check-out clerk know that it was empty.  She said she'd brew a fresh pot.  As I waited on the coffee I went up to pay and she said, "oh don't worry about it.  It's your lunch."  I told Anna about that and she said, "I think she was thinking about a country song . . . ."

At another stop another lady stopped and asked what year the pretty girl was.  I told her - 1962.  But then I wondered, why did she use the pronoun "she"?

My in-laws live close to a retreat center called "The Shack," in what the locals call Jugville, USA.  Just north of The Shack is a small convenience store.  As I approached the store from the north a car passed me with a dog in the backseat.  The window was rolled down and the dog stuck his head out and barked mightily.  I was standing up at the time and almost ducked for cover.  The driver and passenger snickered all the way to the country store.  Glad to make someone's day.

Taking a trip on the seat of a tractor,, or a bicycle lets one see things that are often overlooked.  Isabella county is chock full of red winged black birds.  They are majestic when they take off in flight. God must have had fun taking a black bird and painting two marvelous stripes of red where their wings meet their bodies.  West of Whitecloud, MI there's a grove of Cedar trees that filled the spring air with a splendid fragrance that is missed entirely when we roar by in our temperature controlled cars.  Just west of Stanwood, MI there's a gorgeous view that breaks out as one prepares to go under the highway overpass; there's a moment, a few hundred yards, where you can look out across a great forest that spans into western Michigan.  The sights and smells, and sounds, they're all there, but more often than not we're going to fast, trying to catch life, that we miss the fullness of life that is right before us.

The sun was out so I got the first sunburn of the year.

5 and 1/2 hours on a solitary tractor gives a person ample time to see, notice and pray.  I've come to appreciate the place of solitude and prayer that can transpire on the seat of a tractor.  The hum of the engine drowns out the other noise. Trying to talk on a cell phone is crazy.  It creates this marvelous buffer zone where the work of prayer can be entered into, enjoyed, and sipped like a great cup of coffee.  Things that need to be worked out in prayer really can be.  There's time to talk to God and ample time for Him to talk in return.  There's no place else you can go.

My second class at Asbury is on Spiritual Formation. A portion of the class experience is a weekend at the Abby of Gethsemane.  There we will be asked to quiet our worlds and our words.  We will be encouraged to take time to listen to God . . . maybe I should drive the tractor to KY.  Anna . . .
    
One final thought.  18 years before on May 20th, I drove into this driveway preparing to marry Anna.  I didn't drive in on a tractor, nor did I think this day would ever come.  Life is full of surprises. 
 

I'm in the driveway after 5 1/2 hours of fun.

That was fun, now, where do I park this and can I get a cup of coffee?  My mom picked out the sweatshirt.

Kinds of Monks (Pastors, Christians, Leaders, etc)

I've started reading The Rule of St. Benedict (a required text for a class on Spiritual Formation). 
The opening chapter describes 4 different kinds of monks.  The description can extend beyond monks, and be applied in many venues. 

1) Cenobites - those who belong to a monestary and serve under the rule of an Abbott
2) Anchorites or Hermits - they have come through the testing, they have passed beyond the first fervor.  Thanks to the help and guidance of many, they are now trained to fight against the devil, . . . they are ready with God's help to grapple single-handed with the vices of body and mind.
3) Sarabaites - they have no experience to guide them, no rule to try them, their character is soft as lead.  They are loyal to the world and pen themselves up in their own sheepfold, not the Lord's.  Their law is what they like to do, whatever strikes their fancy.  Anything they believe in and choose, they call holy; anything they dislike, they consider forbidden.  (Benedict calls them "the most detestable kind of monks.")
4) Gyrovagues - they spend their entire lives drifting from region to region, always on the move, never settling down.  They are slaves to their own wills and gross appetites.  They are worse than the sarabaites.

Faith & Loving Your Enemy

Another quote on loving your enemy, this comes from Hilary:

Faith requires that enemies be cherished.  It breaks the tendency we have to be peevish and urges us to bear life’s difficulties calmly.  Faith not only deters anger from turning into revenge but even softens it into love for the injurer.  (Ancient Christian Commentary on Scripture – Matthew, vol.1)

Loving your Enemy

In preparing for Sunday I came across this commentary remark that I find helpful and fascinating.

Matthew 5.43-45 in the Williams translation reads:  You have heard it said, 'you must love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'  But I tell you, practice loving your enemies and praying for your persecutors to prove that you are the sons of your Father in heaven, for He makes His sun to rise on bad as well as good people, and makes the rain come down on does of right and wrong alike.

Here's a commentary found in the Ancient Christian Commentary on Scripture:
The hatred of an enemy is destroyed by the love of friendship.  Suppose you have viewed a man as an enemy, yet after a while he has been swayed by your benevolence.  You will then love him as a friend.  I think that Christ ordered these things not so much for our enemies as for us:  not because enemies are fit to be loved by others but because we are not fit to hate anyone.  for hatred is the prodigy of dark places.  Where it resides, it sullies the beauty of sound sense.  Therefore not only does Christ order us to love our enemies for the sake of cherishing them but also for the sake of driving away from ourselves what is bad for us.  
The Mosaic law does not speak about physically hurting your enemy but about hating your enemy.  But if you merely hate him, you have hurt yourself more in the spirit than you have hurt him in the flesh.  Perhaps you don't harm him at all by hating him.  But you surely tear yourself apart.  If then you are benevolent to an enemy, you have rather spared yourself than him.  And if you do him a kindness, you benefit yourself more than him." (from Incomplete Work on Matthew, Homily 13)   

A Confession

In The Way of the Pilgrim and The Pilgrim continues His Way, there is a conversation that leads to a reading entitled "A Confession which leads the inward person to humility."
The confession has the following outline.  The description following each point is rich.

1. I do not love God.  For if I loved God I should be continually thinking about God with heartfelt joy.
2. I do not love my neighbor either.  For not only am I unable to make up my mind to lay down my life for my neighbor's sake (according to the Gospel), but I do not even sacrifice my happiness, well-being and peace for the good of my neighbor.
3. I have no religious belief.  . . . If I were firmly persuaded and believed without doubt that beyond the grave lies eternal life and recompense for the deeds of this life, I should be continually thinking of this.
4. I am full of pride and sensual self-love.  . . . Seeing something good in myself, I want to bring it into view or to pride myself upon it . . . If I notice a fault in myself, I try to excuse it, I cover it by by saying, "I am made like that" 

If you want to know how to overcome this evil, strive after enlightenment of spirit by every means in your power, attain it by diligent study of the Word of God and of the holy Fathers, by the help of meditation and spiritual counsel and by the conversation of those who are wise in Christ.

(pp. 133-137)

What Good is Prayer?

From The Way of a Pilgrim and The Pilgrim Continues His Way. Hope Publishing House.1993.  p.122.

The question:  What good does it do God if we pray?

The answer:  Of course, God does not need our sinful prayers, but, still in God's love for us God likes us to pray.  And it is not only that holy prayer which the Holy Spirit helps us to offer and arouses in us that is pleasing to God, for God asks that of us when Christ says Abide in me, and I in you.  Every intention, every impulse, even every thought which is directed to God's glory and our own salvation is of value in God's sight.  For all the boundless loving kindness of God gives bountiful rewards.  The love of God gives grace a thousandfold more than human actions deserve.  If you give God the merest mite, God will pay you back with gold.  If you but purpose to go to the Father, he will come out to meet you.  You say but a word, short and unfeeling - 'Receive me, have mercy on me' - and God falls on your neck and kisses you.  That is what the love of the heavenly Father is like towards us, unworthy as we are.