The Mary Tyler Moore house in Minneapolis, MN. Mary was incredibly hospitable, and had to learn to lean into Assertive and Directive, for her own good, and the good of others. |
In a recent conversation, I shared about an increase in transient guests we have experienced at the church I serve. The increase is expected to be temporary, and it is primarily the result law enforcement razing homeless camps. As a church staff we asked, what should our posture be? We developed the posture - Assertive, Directive, Hospitable - drawing upon the fullness of scripture and the wisdom of the saints.
In the flow of the discussion, my fellow conversationalist asked, "have you shared this with anyone outside of your team? I like the concept, but have never heard of it."
"No," I replied. "But I will."
For what it is worth, here is a working draft, with places for you to fill in resources in your neighborhood.
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Assertive Directive Hospitality
Assertive:
- take the initiative to greet people on campus
- take the lead in conversations, in setting the pace of interactions
- while initiating, carry with you a non-anxious presence - we are not in a hurry, we are available
Directive:
- as a staff member you have access to resources that may be helpful to a person who is looking for some direction or help; discern in the conversation how and where to direct a guest
- if a person needs a place to stay - you can direct to an emergency shelter
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- If a person is loitering, impeding the access of others, or being disruptive, you have direct discretion to ask people to move along, and/or make a call to 911
Hospitable:
- if a person is looking for food - share an "on foot" food package with them, created by the Food Pantry
- if a person needs a bottle of water - share it with them - you will find water available ___________
- if a person needs a restroom . . . (use your best judgment) ... you may direct them to (a specific) restroom
- if a person needs a place to pray, we have that available in many spaces
Boundaries:
- if you feel uncomfortable or in danger, be assertive, directive, and breath
- work with an awareness of where fellow co-workers are located; let someone else know what and where you will be and for how long . . . don’t fly solo.
- if you are alone on campus or in the building, we advise against deep engagement
If you wrestle with how to engage while retaining a semblance of boundaries according to the tenor of Jesus, you should be aware that the early church wrestled with the same questions. In a brief resource titled, The Didache (the teaching of the 12 apostles), composed about 100ad, the early church began to rely on the following practice:
CHAPTER 12 - Traveling Christians (http://www.thedidache.com)
1 Let everyone who "comes in the Name of the Lord" be received; but when you have tested him you shall know him, for you shall have understanding of true and false.
2 If he who comes is a traveller, help him as much as you can, but he shall not remain with you more than two days, or, if need be, three.
3 And if he wishes to settle among you and has a craft, let him work for his bread.
4 But if he has no craft provide for him according to your understanding, so that no man shall live among you in idleness because he is a Christian.
5 But if he will not do so, he is making traffic of Christ; beware of such.
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